When NOT to Think Like a CEO

Here we go - second issue of Pure Mettle. 

There's something about January that makes us open to new ideas. The slate's clean. The energy's back. We're ready to challenge what wasn't working.

So here's your first one: Stop thinking like a CEO.

Not what you expected? Good. Because the best leadership moments don't happen when you're following the playbook - they happen when you trust what you actually see in front of you.

Early in my career, I thought leadership meant:
▹ Know the frameworks top/bottom and inside/out.
▹ Perfect the messaging.
▹ Always project confidence.
▹ Never let them see you sweat.

I was wrong. Well, except for the sweat part, if you’re going to let them see you sweat, look good…while in fact sweating. 

Anyway, the cost of that belief? Predictability. Slow decision-making at times. And worst of all - disconnection from the very people I was supposed to be leading.

Was this email forwarded to you?

Look, I'm not saying strategy doesn't matter. Of course it does.

I've built streaming operations and launched businesses from scratch, integrated national and local newsrooms, and transformed sales operations for evolving client needs. You don't do that without strategic thinking.

But here's the paradox: the more you perform "CEO," the less you begin to trust yourself.

Perform is the key word. 

The playbook tells you to be: 
☐ Measured. 
☐ Diplomatic. 
☐ To manage perception.
☐ To consult broadly and communicate carefully. 

And in some situations - board meetings, investor calls, public statements - that makes sense.

But when you're dealing with highly emotional, highly fluid situations? When your team is scared, uncertain, or watching to see if you'll lead with courage or protect your own reputation? That's when the playbook fails you.

Because leadership in those moments isn't about strategy decks. It's about wisdom. Experience. Pattern recognition. The ability to see what's happening in front of you and respond with clarity, compassion, and conviction.

Let me tell you about a moment when following the playbook would have been a disaster.

I was managing the exit of a high-profile and beloved leader - the why of it left people uncomfortable and uncertain. The tension and the uncertainty…the sadness was real. 

I wrote a memo to speak to that tension as well as my gratitude for this executive; and, the feedback from a senior leader was to take out the emotion, to remove the recognition that this was a difficult moment. 

The guidance was to think more like a CEO. 

More professional, more confident

Less sympathetic. Less human. 

But that's not what the moment demanded.

So I sent the memo I originally wrote. The real one. I acknowledged the fear. I validated the emotion. I shared my sadness.

Maybe it was too emotional. Too vulnerable. Too human. But, in that moment, it acknowledged the shared experience of us all, and it instilled trust, a trust that would serve us all moving forward. 

Bottom line, sometimes, you can’t lead people by referring to page 10 of a CEO playbook. Sometimes, you can’t lead culture from behind a strategy deck or a comms guide to best practices.

Over the years, I've learned that the moments that actually mattered in my career weren't when I "thought like a CEO." They were when I thought like myself and acted accordingly.

1️⃣ Wisdom Beats Knowledge - Especially Now

Knowledge is overrated. In the age of AI, information is at our fingertips. But wisdom? That's rare.

Wisdom is pattern recognition. It's seeing something in a meeting and knowing - without needing three more rounds of analysis - that it's the wrong call. It's connecting dots that others can't see because you've been in the trenches, made the mistakes, and learned what works.

I often say: You'll never be as smart as you are right now. That's a leadership lesson I learned the hard way. The longer you wait, the more you overthink, the more you talk yourself out of what you already know.

Trust what you see. Trust what you've learned. And move.

2️⃣ Humanity Isn't Weakness - It's Strength

There's this sense that CEOs need to be dictatorial to get things done. That showing emotion or accessibility makes you soft.

All that does is breed contempt and division in your team. Plus, it sounds defensive and, yes, weak. 

The reality is, it's much easier to execute change when the team is behind you. And what engenders trust? A strategic, future-focused vision…delivered with compassion.

It's okay to show humanity. It's okay to be accessible. It's okay to say "this is hard" or "I don't have all the answers" or "I'm asking a lot of you, and I know it."

That's not weakness. That's leadership.

3️⃣ Strip Away the Executive Theater

The more you perform the role, the less effective you become.

Every organization has executive theater - the carefully managed appearances, the curated messaging, the performance of leadership. And sometimes you need it. 

But when you're in the middle of transformation, when the stakes are high, and trust is fragile, theater gets in the way.

Your team doesn't need polished talking points. They need you to tell them the truth.

They need to know you see what they see, feel what they feel, and have the courage to lead them through it anyway.

The CEO playbook has its place. But the best leaders I know - the ones who actually transform organizations, build trust, and inspire people to do hard things - they know when to follow it and when to throw it out.

They lead from wisdom, not just knowledge. From humanity, not just strategy. From what they see and feel and know to be true, not from what a framework tells them to do.

Leadership isn't about performing the role. It's about doing the work. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is stop thinking like a CEO and start thinking like yourself.

Because good stories matter. What have you gotten into this Holiday Season? LMK

📺 Landman
📺 Stranger Things - People keep telling me to ‘just’ get through Season 2, and it will get good again.
📺 Emily in Paris - Because balance!
📖 Strong Ground by Brené Brown
📖 Beyond High Performance: What Great Coaches Know About How the Best Get Better

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